Showing all posts tagged personal:

I'm at a loss most of the time for why I do some of the things that I do. The power of habit means that I routinely do some things that I want to not do. I want to work on not doing these things but, like most things, I find it hard to actually do (or rather, not do) these things.

Here's a good example:
Every morning I get up and make coffee, open my Chromebook, and start scrolling through RSS feeds.

Why? Because that's what I do.

I think it has to do with wanting to do something in the morning that will lead to something in the early afternoon before work but, it never does. It is just a habit that I have fallen into and find it hard to break out of. Extremely hard.

Another example:
I know, really know that I need to prepare and plan my morning the night before or else, I'll end up on the couch with my coffee and reading RSS feeds for hours. But, when I come home from work, without fail (even if I tell myself that I won't do it this time) I sit in my chair and turn on the TV and watch something for a couple of hours. All while ignoring preparing or thinking about the next day.

Why? Because that's what I do.

How do I break these cycles of doing things that I know I want to change but, have not found a way to stop doing them?

That is what I struggle with. There are more than these two examples but, I won't go into all of them because, well, they're personal.

I know what I need to do to break these habits. I just don't know how to break these habits.

It starts out small and it builds. It starts out by just doing it. Not by thinking about it or wishing that I could find that one magic trick to make my habits change but, by small continuous action, every single day. By not beating myself up for not doing it one day but, by trying again the next day.

By Just Doing It.

But, sometimes that is easier said than done. When you have years and years of habit built up, it is hard to break that habit by just doing something else. At least it is for me.

I guess I just need to start doing what I want to do and quit complaining about not doing what I want to do.

I want to do more with my time than I do now.

  • I want to read more.
  • I want to learn more.
  • I want to garden.
  • I want to have projects.
  • I want to have a hobby (I guess gardening would count).
  • I want to watch more movies.
  • I want to watch more TV.
  • I want to cook more.
  • I want to play more video games.
  • I want to blog more.

It feels like there isn't enough time in the week to do what I want and I haven't learned how to prioritize what I want so, all I do now is meander around the internet and drink coffee before I have to work in the evenings.

I want to do more with my time but, it's hard to break old habits.

I turned 37 on Tuesday. I need a pick me up. I've been in a funk and focusing on a dumb number for the last couple of days. So,, when I need an easy pick me up, where do I turn to? My weight loss.

It seems like an unlikely place for me to find good news but, when I looked this morning at my journey I was pleased with what I saw. That first red arrow son the left is when I started tracking my weight in August of 2010 at 256 pounds. The heaviest I got is the red arrow in the middle when I was 274 pounds in April of 2014. And finally on the right I am 221 pounds. A loss of 53 pounds over six years.

That's good news. Now I have a new goal. I want to be 200 pounds January 1st. That's 21 pounds in 3 months. I will not get discouraged if I don't make it. It's just something that I'm shooting for, informally. I will work on eating fresh, home cooked meals with more fruits and vegetables until the end of the year. I will try to eat fast food as little as possible. I want to join a gym so that I can do some weight lifting to build more muscle but, that is not high on the list of things I need to do as the holidays come.

I'll leave this as motivation for myself.

Me in 2014:

Me in 2016:

A little less fat. A little older. Maybe wiser, maybe not. But, definitely a work in progress.